December 2004 Archives

Happy New Year everyone! Be safe on this New Year's Eve.

I just spent a few minutes thinking about the way my digital pen perceieves the world. It is really an intersting device in the way it sees our world, things it writes and the passage of time.

When laying dormant on my desk or in its cradle the pen experiences the world like any other pen. When the cap is off and the pen is writing on normal paper it knows it is active, but doesn't have any sense of where it is or what it is doing. On specially encoded paper the pen knows where it is at all times and can record exactly what it writes without fail. If I move to another notebook and turn to the same page number and continue writing, the pen thinks it is still on the same page and hasn't changed notebooks, unless the "change notebook" block is checked in the front of the book first. With the simple action of letting the pen touch that box in the notebook it marks itself as changing books and the page number becomes valid again, it is a remarkable device. I have 4 digital notebooks in the house now, but I can only use one at a time without confusing the pen, however, the pen's software on my primary desktop computer can take something I write in the subject box and know instantly how to place it in my electronic notebook, so again, a really useful device. I think the pen will be quite helpful in my academic life for taking notes and maybe even for taking care of certain assignments. Can anyone see me doing Calculus homework with this pen? I expect that I will have more electronic records of my homework, notes, etc than was even possible before.

I have given thought to creating a paper form for my own use and getting it printed with a unique dot-code pattern in it like the digital notesbooks have, it could be interesting, but somehow I expect that would be excessive.

The pen views the world quite blindly, knowing all it knows from its dot patterns and the motion of my hand across the page. This is perhaps the most simple-minded technological device I own, but it kicks ass!

Ok, I think I should have figured this out earlier than this, but I have a really not-so-great schedule for myself for the Spring 2005 semester. Chris was looking over the schedule and pointed out the errors to me. I have a packed schedule with only 10 minutes between classes, and im arriving on campus about an hour earlier than I am used to. My Fridays have been expanded to an hour later because I missed the fact that there was actually a gap between Physics and English last semester. The courses causing the problems are ACCT2121 and ECON2102, the two from "my department". Is this any shock to anyone? I thought I would just simply change majors to one of the related fields because I decided I didn't like the business concentration in the Management Information Systems major, but when I asked the registrar's server to audit my present courses against the other majors there was a slight suprise: the same bullshit courses are required in those majors also. I am not overly concerned with ECON2102 because im familiar with it and know what to expect, and ACCT2121 makes sense, and may be practicle. My concern is with the fact that I am treating myself like a machine, going from one course to another throughout the day with no break, just like in high school. Chris pointed out that this behavior is more than a little dangerous to myself and will serverely limit my time for interacting with other people. I know without a doubt that I will meet and become familar with 6 people at UNCC during Spring though, the PHIL3060 class. The people of the Plato course are likely to be a tight group, as there are only 7 of us and the reigning queen of Philosophy at UNCC, Dr. Judith Presler. I'm not sure what to expect from the course, but knowing Dr. P it will likely be fun. I think Thursday will be the most enjoyable of my week. At the moment I am uncertain as to what to do about the ACCT2121 and ECON2102 situation. I guess I can always use the last minute drop/add thing if I have to, although when entering UNCC I decided that I would never do that and that I would have all of my academic plans in order ahead of time. This can not be happening! I am not supposed to be foulable, it isn't in my plan!

My Overall Thoughts: i thought this was the semester that could screw me or unscrew me, but im just as screwed as i was before, only now i know that i am equally screwed on either path and i can select the path with which to screw myself at a later date without wasting any credit hours.

My visual Spring 2005 Semester Schedule is now availible at curtis.kularski.net/public/Spring2005.pdf.

My current semester text schedule from GITI is now availible at curtis.kularski.net/status/schedule.php

The references to sleep in the PDF version of the schedule is only a theoretical time window when I may choose to sleep, but is by no means an indication of the fact that I will sleep.

Maybe for Fall 2005 I can have GITI to produce a visual, but for now the PDF is the best I can do for visual schedules. If I am not doing anything during the summer we might even end up with a Curtis Tracker, for my own security I may have to secure that host though.

In a few hours (45 hours) it will be January 2005 and we will have ended another year of human existance, a year of goals accomplished, some not accomplished and a lot of new memories being written.

In 2004 I accomplished a few things in my life:

There are many feelings I can tollerate, supress or somehow alternatively deal with, feeling unwanted isn't one of them. This evening my father sent a pretty clear signal that he didn't want me living here anymore, the simple line of "I want you to move out" would be the key indicator of me not being wanted anymore. People selectively disconnect from each other and move on all the time, I personally have only done it a few times, and never with family. How could a father, my father, want his only son to move out? Am I that hard to deal with? Do I cause that much of a problem? My mother assures me that I am allowed to live here as long as she does, but somehow I get the feeling that there is a secret about me that neither of them knows that would even change her mind. Could my father possibly know my secret? Has he been listening at my door to my phone calls? I don't know and I don't really care at the moment. At the moment I am focused on this feeling of being unwanted, and finding this internal need to seek stability and establish my own life independant of my parents. I just can't let myself be exposed to my uncaring father every day of my life, it isn't healthy for me. I wish I could bring back the days of my youth when I didn't worry about things like having to leave my home, or people not liking me. How can this be my life? How could I have changed this much?

Addendum - December 30, 2004: Father has recalled the statement.

I used to think that the art of the written word was dead and would never come back to life. This blog entry may shock some, as I am writing this from a pen and real paper. I am using a Logitech IO Pen. This evening I found myself writing letters to people, something that I haven't done in an while. This technology brings the human factor back into things. The Keyboard can never replace the connection between the writer and his mighty pen. We are in a digital world but we weren't able to interact with our digital "stuff" naturally, I am laying on my bed with this pen and a notebook. What could be more natural? One day humans might have a better way to manage digital communications, but for now this is my preferred method. I used to write all the time, but when I met the keyboard I moved away from the pen, but my love of the instrument seems to have come through unharmed. I am now noticing so many quirks in my handwriting techniques I go back and write over things, have different ways of
writing the same letter and stuff.

You can view what I have actually
written at curtis.kularski.net/public/pen1.jpg Wow, this really long in long hand. 3 lines for a URL is a bit nuts.

I can get my handwritten document in Logitech PEN format, JPEG or converted text. As I write this I wonder how much I'll have to correct later. The program is supposed to adapt and learn. This could be interesting. The personal touch of handwriting is certainly better for me than harshly banging my keyboard for a blog entry, but somehow I am missing a train of thought when writing with the pen. I guess in time that will return.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and now the keyboard.

Yesterday went better than I could have ever planned for. I didn't sleep any between 3pm on Christmas Eve and 2PM on Christmas Day, and I managed to remain fully functional the entire time. Christmas day started at 11:45PM on December 24th as my mother woke up from her sleep (she went to bed at 6:15PM). I had a discussion about random stuff with her, then I proceded to the kitchen at about 12:30am. From here I started the work for the evening event, begining where any good southern event starts: the brewing of the tea. After the tea was brewed the day's first batch of coffee started as my mother got up and was ready to begin her day. At that time I wasn't sure how to procede for the day, so I decided to hunt some dessert recipies. I didn't find anything I really wanted to make, but had a sudden inspiration from the sound of the freezer dumping ice: a frozen dessert. I developed a recipie for what I called "Artic Smores", it starts with a spring-form pan (but is cleaner in another type of pan). I then built the crust from graham crackers and butter (lots of butter), then I added about half a bag of marshamallows to the crust and baked until they were starting to brown. Next up I grabbed some chocolate pudding mix, some evaporated milk (althought next time I will use condensed), some creme cheese and some regular milk, threw it all in the mixer (KitchenAid Professional grade mixer) and came out with an intersting filling. I poured it into the pan on top of the mellows and then toped it off with some fine graham cracker dust. I promptly took it to the downstairs freezer, where it stayed for the day.

After that little expedition it was nearly 2:30am, time for breakfast. I decided to go with something light, so I fried some sausage and prepared a pot of oats. By 3:00 breakfast was ready. Sausage sandwiches (because my mother hates biscuits) and sweet oatmeal (the sugar jar was there, it was begging to be used). It took about 30 minutes to pry my father out of bed (even though he usually gets up at 3AM). We all ate and then we decided it was time for the tree stuff, so we took care of that. I got a new camcorder (Sony Handycam Digital8), electric razor, DVD Player (Sony 5 Disk), a new Wireless-G Access Point and various other things. Some Christmas mornings that would have been my primary focus, but this year I was more concerned with how much my mother liked her gifts, especially her new diamond earrings. My secondary focus was on the agenda for the day.

Once the living room was returned to a non-diaster state it was nearing 5AM, the first batch of cookies was prepared and the cake was started. The general pace of the day went on like this until about 2PM when we prepared the table and laid everything out. At 3PM I started the multiple pots of wassail. At about 3:30PM my energy ran out and I went down for a 1 hour power nap (without causing fail to the schedule). At 4:30PM I was back up and functional enough to prepare the cornbread for the evening, as well as light the candles and instruct everyone in my little team as to what to do to finish up preparations. At 4:45PM the first guest arrived and I began serving wassail, cider, coffee and tea. at around 5:10PM we were still a few guests short, but since I was in charge of the event I decided to procede on schedule and we began dinner. While we were finishing up with serving dinner and starting the very very informal eating the late people came in. At most family functions this is usually an interuption because everyone stops, greets and we move quickly to get the late people caught up, this time I handed them a cup of wassail and a bowl, then pointed to the pots of vegetable stew and chili. After a while of eating and people shedding many layers of clothing we began dessert at 5:40PM. Dessert lasted until about 10PM. During the event I didn't hear a single negative comment about anyone or anything and everyone got along so well. This family has a bad habbit of bringing up crap from the past and doing other things to ruin the mood of events like this, but I was pleasantly shocked when that didn't happen. Maybe it just takes a sugar high to make everyone get along?

At 10:30 or so everyone was ready to go. By 11PM the house was empty and I was back to being alone, but somehow much happier than when the day began. I finally went to sleep at about 4AM on December 26th, about 40 hours after I had awoken.

My final grades for the Fall 2004 semester are in. All of my courses with the exception of Western History and Culture came out as As. As a result I should probably forgive myself for my performace in WH&C. Somehow forgiving of the self is just so much harder than forgiving others. In reality though, I guess I have nothing to forgive myself for. I did what I did in the course because of who I am and my personality traits, goals, aspirations and motivations. There is nothing I could have done to change the situation other than immerse myself in material that would end up stressing me out. Could that have caused me to have 4 Ds and only 1 A (in WH&C of course) or would it have still not been good enough and resulted in me still having the D in WH&C but also having that result in all of my other courses as well from the stress? Those are questions I can not answer. All I know about my learning style is that I don't really study. I attend the lecture, read what I need to, and try to generally experience the course. That was somehow the easiest with Abnormal Psychology. I don't know how everyone else's brain works, but if I remember something just for the hell of it, it is usually a very temporary memorization, but if I dive in and experience the course it doesn't leave me. The morning of the Logic exam people were trying to cram it all in and remember stuff, I was fairly calm and relaxed and more concerned with an English project due later in the day. I performed well enough to still have an A in the course and feel really good about the exam.

I haven't done much in the few days since my last exam on Friday, just sort of been here and have been sleeping a lot. I have been working with clay some, but not as much as I should be to get better at either my wheel or handbuilding techniques. I have a new 1/3 HP (250 Joule/s) wheel coming next week that im excited about trying on. Reopening old hobbies is a slow proccess, but I am enjoying it more now than I did in the past, I guess because now I have the resources to explore it more fully and therefore enjoy it more completely.

I have found myself logging in to GITI every day since exams, even though all sections read as being fully complete with nothing to do, even the active course section at the moment. I guess I will formally activate those sometime in January. During this time since exams GITI has been in a state where I could easily tare it appart and it wouldn't affect anything, but I haven't gotten that much motivation back yet. I have given thought to giving myself a system of being able to pre-request numbers from GITI in blocks, so I could ask GITI for a block of like 10 numbers for me to be able to use during a week, so I could issue numbers without being at GITI or having to interact with it directly to have my organizational systme be effective. I don't know that I can seriously see myself walking around with a sheet of pre-printed Avery labels with barcodes on them. How would instructors react to me slapping a barcode/number label on their pop-quizes? I guess it would be similar to either the way that Dr. Presler or Betsy handled it. Betsy found me to appear highly organized and didn't think I was nuts when I gave her a paper with a GITI number and barcode on it. Dr. Presler's reaction was a little more like a blank stare and a laugh. Other instructors don't seem to notice, including Dr. Frakes. I don't know that I will ever get to a point where GITI's barcodes are actually in active use, but for now I like knowing they are there, so as I become more GITI-centered in the way I do things, I will be able to convert instantly. Its strange how GITI's numbers (actually, they are MySQL issued auto-incriment index numbers) have evolved. The numbers started as just being there because they were required for the safe operation of a SQL table, but then I got more attached to them in my coding, and now they are essential to everything I do with GITI, they make things make sense. I think I should write a debriefing sheet for GITI sometimes though, people expect too much humanistic logic from GITI, not just its linear logic. There was a project due in Enlgish on the English exam day, Patrick, one of my group members saw GITI ID number 0505 and thought it was the final draft because it had a higher number than the actually final draft, which was 0412, even though I had defined each of the numbers for him. Luckily, Betsy is very understanding and didn't kill our grade for the paper being a little late (I think GITI confused her occasionally too).

Anyway, final grades are in and im farily happy, and apparently im good at having tangent thought.

I am currently contemplating creating a status system where people I know can keep up with where I am and my moods and things like that. The "concept site" is at http://curtis.kularski.net/status. I would like any input and feedback you guys/gals have to offer. What would be useful for you to know about Curtis on-demand? Would it be helpful to be emailed of changes in my status/location?

At the moment this is just a concept that needs a lot of work. GITI will play a huge part in its availibilty and accuracy. I never get tired of thinking of concepts to extend my GITI application :-).

I just looked at the UNCC records system and noticed that my least favorite class this semester (because of instructor's methods, not because of content), Western History and Culture: Masterpieces of Western Art, has been officially closed and that a grade as been posted for it. Unfortunately, the grade system itself is offline until December 21st, and it is after hours for the 49er Express Student Services system, so I am still left wondering on the grade. Deductive Logic, Abnormal Psychology and English Argumentation all went well in their exam periods, so I am thinking I did well in those courses and am not too concerned with those grades, but on my courses that are closer to life-and-death for me I am a bit worried. The disappointment that is Physics Lab was posted last week, that exam really screwed me over. I think Physics lecture tomorrow will be ok though, so I can redeem myself slightly there. As of the last day of all of the lectures I had the mathmatical possibility of an A in all of the courses except for Western History and Culture, and I kinda knew that one was a lost cause (but didn't treat the final exam as that though). The first exam in the course I wasn't sure of what to expect, the second was a little better but still not very clear, but I think I might have done ok on the final exam. The course itself caused me to be a little scared because of only having 3 exams for grades, but I guess its ok, especially with the possibily of 8 points extra credit on the final grade. I personally earned 6 points of the 8 availible for extra credit, I dont know if it will be enough to really save my grade, but it certainly cant hurt it. Abnormal Psychology is closer to this than my other courses, but it would never kill a students grade, for one the tests are muliple choice and not open ended. In addition there are some other assignments and extra credit opportunities availible, so the 4 tests dont have to stand alone. Dr. Presler makes the course seem like we are back in high school, there is homework, weekly quizing, and tests when she feels like it, then also a nice cumlative final. I am not truely sure how Betsy grades, or if she just pulls numbers/letters out of her head. We have turned in 2 papers, a few homework assignments and one group project. All of it graded by her, quite subjectively. I get the feeling that anyone who put forth some effort will get an A and those with more than 5 absences will have Fs. There is no one in the course who actually shows up that doesn't try their best in her course. Its kind of funny now that I think about this, but Western History and Culture will be the one to kill my GPA, I thought that all along it would be a math course that would finish me off, oh well, there is still Calculus in the spring, im sure it will take its fair share of my mental resources. As long as I have a decent instructor and can enjoy the course I will be fine. In high school I had the same instructor over and over again for math courses, Mrs. Ward is a great person, but her math teaching skills just aren't compatible with my ability to comprehend math.

I have been sitting here contemplating various aspects of my college career thus far for the past few hours. After careful analysis there is nothing truely odd about my experiences, with the exception of any interaction I have had with the UNCC registrar.

In the time I have been interacting with this registrar I have managed to bypass 2 proccesses. The first bypass was in June when I was supposed to be stuck at SOAR for 2 days. When my records were being modified a few days before SOAR the registrar/admissions office managed to make a strange flaw appear that essentially released all flags and holds on my account, this should have not happened at all. I registered before SOAR even began, again, this is abnormal and should have never occured. I am inclined to believe that this flaw was directed by fate to comply with my declaration of "UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL I STAY IN A UNCC DORM", of course that declaration applied only to situations where it would be mandatory and I was not comfortable with the campus. I went to SOAR when I was scheduled to, for the first day of it, and was assigned to a group, but the Orientation Counselleor left be behind before we even got started (lets start Scared Freshman Syndrome right). I was assigned to another OC for the first part of the orientation, but unfortunately I had already seen enough of UNCC's hospitality by that point. I was told by many people, the DOS (Dean of Students) included, that SOAR was important, but in the time i was there i was neither impressed nor enlightended. If anything I learned not to trust the DOS [for my nerd friends, you can pretty much guess how I felt about her before I met her because of her acronym]. The DOS lied to me about various things that morning during SOAR. The DOS is supposed to be someone that students can count on, go to and seek for comfort with most issues. Strangely, the department of admissions was much more friendly, caring and helpful with everything I have needed since the day i first sent my application, even though that department is trained to look at students as only numbers. However, the department of admissions has its flaws, including their neglegence with records. I had to visit them 3 times to get an isssue corrected where all of my transfer credits went missing for a few days, even after my record was manually reconstructed.

Next topic, Prerequisits! UNCC uses a tool called Campus Pipeline to manage registrations, drop/add, and records management on the student side. This tool has to be the stupidest thing I have ever seen. To get a course that has a prerequisit at UNCC you must only add the prerequisit to the schedule for the semester, then perform a conditional drop-add with the course you want and the course is granted completely and without question of the system. I haven't tested this to a level of multiple successive pre-requisits, but because of the way it functions I would assume that it would be exactly the same. This is a flaw that could harm the integrity of the institution if some students who just wanted to complete their degree and leave started using it to get into courses for the purpose of getting a C and moving on. Upon anylizing the situation I find fault with my own usage of it, but what is done is done now. I used the procedure to bypass a topic area that I was complete SICK of, ALGEBRA! After having 3 years of it, I am tired of it and dont want to look at it again. In high school I was determined to be competent enough to take AP Calculus, which is equivilent to UNCC's Non-Engineering Calculus. Also, I managed to complete AP Statistics and get credit at UNCC for it, Statistics is equivilent to Calculus in pre-requisits. My competency in math isn't the point here though, the point is that pre-reqs should be enforced better than they are by the UNCC registration system. At CPCC there is a very tight registration procedure that verifies pre-requisits. One thing I also noticed about the registration system that shouldn't have happened (although it didn't affect me directly) is the handling of courses that require registration permits. One of the philosophy courses I am taking next semester required me to have a registration permit by departmental rules, but there were no notes or anything on the record for the course to state as such, but in this situation I had my permit in place (Thanks Dr. Presler, youre the best) before registration was opened. There are only 7 people registered for the course, none of which I know, so I can't confirm that, but typically, if there is no note, then there is no catch.

The thing I hate most is having to worry about when Campus Pipeline is up and when it is not. It only maintains records for 18,000 people, it shouldn't need to be down for 6 hours every day of the week for maintainance and record backups. Seems weird and inefficient to me, but then again, I don't have to deal with the back end of the records system...at least not yet.

I will continue to monitor my records to make sure that everything stays correct until I graduate, but the records system at UNCC still scares me.

Sometimes The Curtis should just stick to his gut feeling about things.

About a week ago I was given an assignment and given the option to be independant or be in a group. I selected in my mind to be independant, but everyone else paired up. The instructor (Betsy) made the suggestion that I join "the Guys". I hesitated to accept, but found myself crushed by the pressure of instructor suggestion and internal non-resistance.

The group situation is making me so stressed out, no one is communicating with me and I don't know what to do with these people. I feel like I have to organize everything for them to get done. I feel like I would have had to do less work if I would have been by myself.

(posted December 23, 2004, delayed post to avoid conflict)

Why is it that immediately after a blog entry from this lab I always find something else to say because of an event or conversation or something that occurs? Maybe I just have bad timing.

Anyway.... I just met the Barnard Lab Nazi. This 5' tall chick with red hair just came through the lab and began pretty much shouting her reminded of lab rules across the room, just when I thought the campus was relaxed I found the campus's loudest bitch. Some people just know how to ruin a mood.

I don't know how to describe the atmosphere on campus today other than relaxed! Everyone seems so calm and as though there is nothing at all in their lives to worry about or study on. It may be helpful that it is a rainy day, but I have never experienced the atmosphere of the campus like this before. Dr. Presler made some changes to her testing and we had a very calm day of Logic with just being immersed in symbolic logic proofs. It was great fun, I actually got into it enough to volenteer myself to do 3 problems on the board for her, and anyone who knows my personality knows that I usually hate doing anything on a board. I would have felt better today about it if I were using dry erase and not chalk (or VERY dry erase). With multi-step deductive syllogistic argumentation I feel very comfortable and I get such a thrill out of solving the proofs. Proofs look so hard from the outside and are still very scary for me when I am not focused, but when I am focused on them I can extrapolate the correct course of action for getting from the 1 to 3 propositions given to the given conclusion and manage to use several of the 18 basic rules of symbolic logic that we have learned to reach the conclusion. I remember proofs in geometry, they weren't nearly as much fun as the proofs we are doing in logic. For anyone who is very fact based in their learning (this is the question, here is the answer type people) don't like logic, probably because it is very abstract and requires some time to get it with complex thinking and can not be gotten simply by "knowing" it. I think I was talking about relaxation when I got started on my logic tangent wasn't I? Well, after logic I went to Physics and Dr. Naeini kept taking himself in a circle and he wasn't very focused on getting everything covered. I have never seen him like this, he is usually so rushy so he can cover everything that he wants to get done. I guess it being the final lecture caused him to lighten up a little bit. Actually, today was the final lecture for Logic also. Both courses are using Wednesday as an optional review day. Depending upon how English goes today I might just option myself into using Wednesday as a stay-at-home-review-in-bed day. I have electronic access to most of my notes, as well as the notes of my instructors and thousands of other instructors, so it very well might be worth it to attempt to do that. Only problem is that I need to somehow convince myself to be on my normal schedule and be functional by 11am so that I can use my time appropriately and actually get some review in. I love being on campus and around people, but sometimes it is just way too cold outside to even bother getting my ass out of bed to do more than go to the bathroom for my morning trip. Thursday is supposed to be reading day on campus, and there is no class, I orginally scheduled my Microsoft exam 217 for that day, but it has since been rescheduled to later in the month. I might take the three days I have at the end of this week to work on getting stuff together and finish preparing for that exam and then stick it on Monday, December 13th where I don't presently have anything scheduled.

At some point before next Wednesday I have to manage to finish my English paper, write some reading journals and write some group meeting journals. I don't know why Betsy wants the journals done so bad, I guess she needs some entertainment between reading the boring stuff, or perhaps needs to figure out what went well and what didn't go well in the course.

Well, thats GITI's interpretation of the next few days at UNCC for me. Only 8 more assignments have to be cleared before the semester is closed. I am a little excited, this is the end of my first semester at UNCC. I survived without any major incursion with reality, however, I don't think I have presented myself enough socially since I arrived at UNCC, that is something I need to work on for next semester. I can't let myself go my entire time at UNCC without meeting at least a few people. So far I have enjoyed being at UNCC and feel as though the place has the potiential for improving me as a person, however I have to make myself open for that improvement and not see myself as a mindless drone going to record information to be recited for the final exam. Logic is my current favorite course because I feel like it has had some impact on the way I think. I haven't attained the logic of a vulcan yet, thats where advanced logic comes in, but I have definately begun seeing things differently. I sometimes find myself laughing at people who try to memorize logic formulas, it isn't about memorization, it is about the thought proccess being created where you know what is actually happening.

I can't believe this semester is coming to a close so quickly. It still seems like it just started. I guess now the only thing I can do is prepare for next semester and try to focus on improving myself.

Last night it was determined that Ipswitch IMail on my server is no longer serving my purposes well because of its weird records system (using Windows Registry) as well as its harsh handling of large SMTP loads and IMAP requests. I have determined that I need to replace it with something a little better. My biggest issues are the cost of good email server software and the fact that the server I want to run it on at this time is Windows. Then there are other issues that occur, such as my need for a highly customizable email soloution. I have a special alias-based system working against a wildcard that I have to consider as well as the need to deliver email to a Perl-based bot that I have to think about when considering new email server solutions. I know that Microsoft Exchange is a hell no because it would probably try to fondle the bot in the proccess of delivering email to it. I really wish i could just convince myself that my network can run on a Linux server, but at the moment I don't understand Linux enough, or have enough of a clue as to how to do what I want without Active Directory existing. Perhaps I can do something with it when Novell released their new server software. Unforuntately the email situation seems a little more critical at the moment than Novell's release schedule.

Since I first started using Imail I have been very happy with it and wish I could justify its long term continuation on this network, but I can't. At the same time I need a good email server that meets my requirements. Outsourcing is not an option here, because I like for things to be my fault when things fail, also, outsourcing would cause the bot to not be happy because it would no longer be able to get its mail direct from the server.

This is something I have a lot of thinking to do for. I don't know how I will find the answer, but I will keep at it until I do. If all else fails I will learn to write source code better and I will modify some open source email solutions to make them fit my needs.

My Abnormal Psychology class met for the last time this evening. We took our test (after waiting for our classroom) and then we left. Before that we handed in delivered our article reviews to Dr. Noland. The assignment was a complete nightmare to do because of the unclarity of the way it was presented. Everything was so vauge, so sketchy, so unlike the typical assignment in a course. This assignment was given at the very first class meeting and only took a few hours to complete total, but with all of the procrastination and other stuff involved it seemed much longer. Many of us waited until about 3 weeks ago to get started on things, but I think we all worked pretty hard on the papers. Less than 24 hours before the reviews were due the following message was posted to the WebCT forum in response to a final post inquiring as to the format of the documents being turned in:
"don't stress too much about the reviews. the important thing is that you did them and maybe you learned something from the process (even if that was just how to look up journal articles). i'm going to grade the reviews like the exams and curve them if need be. so, good going! after the alcohol and socializing, this is what college is about (grin)!"

So I guess we have nothing to fear and the good news recieved tonight is that we get an automatic 6 out of the 10 points this evening for just completing them and turning them in. Only 4 more points have to be earned from valid shit in the papers themselves, although, since I did the extra credit ones and I get six points each for them too... I have an automatic 30 points out of 30 required...so anything else is just icing on the cake and extra points to keep my A afloat (assuming this last test and my final exam go as well as I expect). From my own personal calculations prior to turning in tonight's test I can safely say that I got 38 out of the 50 points on the test, and those are just the safe points. It is very possbile that my score is higher and that Dr. Noland will give us a curve also. I am not too worried about Abnormal Psychology, it was a fun course, I learned a lot and I usually do fairly well on the tests. As long as things go well on the final exam I expect to come out of the course with an A. Sometimes I think the levels of these courses need to be evaluated, a 3000 level psychology course is about 10 times easier than a 2000 level liberal studies course. As my first semester at UNCC comes to a close I am more undecided as ever about what I want to do with my life, but at least now I know that I seek knowledge and have a life goal of being able to understand concept principles.

When I awoke this morning I looked out my window and saw with great suprise a giant box from KC Metro Ceramics. My 50lbs (23 kg)of clay had arrived, as well as my new tools. I had been waiting for this clay since before I ordered my mobile wheel, but oh well, at least its here now and the fun can begin. My tools arrived at the same time, so I can now sculpt and do other fun things with clay. The only thing that isn't fun about clay is running up 20 stairs with it, it is so heavy for its size, but i guess thats a good thing, it could be heavy and big ;-). Now I have to solve a few problems: 1. where should i put the clay? it needs a fairly cold place to be, and the air cant be too dry (asked about the fridge already, that got a Hell No); 2. I need to find time to actually play with my clay; 3. what am i going to do with the clay? I have all of these options, I have no idea where I want to begin; 4. I have clay and a wheel, but where am I going to fire it? Can you tell that thinking ahead isn't in my list of strong qualities?. Once those few problems get out of the way I should be well on my way to having fun with clay and making all kinds of cool stuff.

I picked up some glaze when I was out with Chris on Monday, so at least that part is taken care of. I think I am getting a little too much back into ceramics, but in this case it is probably a good thing since I have been away so long and have nothing as non-electronic as it currently in my list of hobbies.

In the next week I will have 2 tests, 1 exam and 5 papers due. Ain't my life grand? I am ready for the tests, the exam and 2 of the papers are already ready (and the last 2 are extra credit). I think I am ready for the conclusion of the semester; however, GITI reminds me that I still have 19 items to complete before it will let me lock down all of my courses and have an active course list of length 0. I love seeing the message "There are currently no active courses" in the education module of GITI, it is like a victory. Would be really cool if I could make GITI a little more automated so I didn't have to deactivate classes myself. It has access to the dates and stuff, but I don't know that I trust something I create that much (hence why GITI doesn't have an archive, and everything is active).

I am looking forward to hosting my Christmas party on December 18th (or December 25th, depending on the family's pick for their family gathering). I am planning to make a lot of junk food and serve a small dinner before, just enough so that we can all say we had dinner before dessert, but yet still have room for every sugar filled delight I create/serve. My biggest issue at the moment is figuring out who all I actually want here, I of course want my best friend Chris here, but other than that I don't know what non-family I trust enough to actually be here. There are people who know so much more about me than my family, but I don't know that I would trust them actually interacting with my family because im not sure how discrete they are around others. Most of my friends are pretty outward with their personalities around me, but with some of them I can't have that around my semi-traditional family. A few of the 50 or so members of my close family may have an issue with some of my friends (as well as with me if they knew everything about me).

I am looking forward to the holiday season for various reasons, but most of all because events of the year are winding down and I can get some time to relax. Even though I have more credit hours scheduled for next semester than I had this semester I think it will be easier because I don't have as many courses that I consider to be extreamly challenging. All of my courses are in the 2000 level or below, with the exception of my Philosophy course which is at the 3000 level, but I don't expect to have an issue there. Dr. Presler is a very good instructor and makes her courses fun.

The part of this time of the year I don't like is the excessive shopping that occurs, making malls unbearable for those of us who like to visit them for fun occasionally. Christmas is way too gift focused in this country, which is one of the reasons I am having my Christmas part as just a gathering of family and friends for the purpose of eating.

One of the more enjoyable things for me during the winter is seeing snow fall. In this region it doesn't happen often but when it does I get very excited. I don't really like snow on the ground, but when snow is falling from the sky and sticking to the ground I get more excited than during any other event. I guess sort of a reverse seasonal affective disorder. Snow is very messy and dangerous, which is why I don't really like it, but while it is falling it is so amazingly beautiful and calm and seems to make the rest of the world stop for a moment in time. I have never experienced a snow on Christmas eve or on Christmas day, maybe this year will be the year for me.

My December is quite full up until December 17th, then everything stops, so I don't know what my level of posting to the blog will be, we shall see....